Friday 10 April 2015

King Star King Pilot review


I have an affinity for the weird. Be it surrealist painters like Salvador DalĂ­ or Yves Tanguy, comics like back when Grant Morrison took drugs and defied genres, movies like Brasil, or cartoons, which can be weird for many different reasons. Be it the critical underdog Uncle Grandpa making the laws of reality bend over, or shows like Adventure Time, where an episode can be devoted to a religious person's fight against a demon worshipping piece of candy in a butler suit. So I will say right off the bat that what I have to say is in no way related to King Star King being weird.

The problem is, it's not good. At least the pilot, which was all I could find.

King Star King does the exact same thing as Xavier Renegade Angel, in that it thinks being crude and weird means it doesn't have to try to be good. And this is where it stumbles. It's characters are ill defined, manic, loud and stupid. The plot is rushed and boring. The jokes are vulgar and crude because that's what adult shows have to be about.

The episode starts, after some omniscient narrator guy calls King Star King "The greatest hero who ever was, is, or shall be", with King Star King and his Donald Duck sidekick blitzing through space graphically murdering random creatures in their path. We know nothing about these characters, and we just see random violence and that's supposed to be funny. King Star King wants to profess his love to Princess Snow White, finds the impossible big boobed Princess in a bath, the evil Spring Bunny reports this to the big, nasty, overly violent God King and he erases King Star King's memory and throws him down to the human world.

About twenty seconds later Snow White finds King Star King in the waffle place making waffles, restores his memory and makes that subplot completely pointless. Then the Spring Bunny abducts Snow White to use in a Virgin Powered robot. This leads to the gruesome death of the waitress, and the owner of the waffle joint being horribly mangled and dying. So King Star King has his duck sidekick put the guy's soul into a waffle mascot, and he goes after the Spring Bunny. As he is flying in his giant robot to steal the God King's crown and rule the universe he....tears off his own face for no reason. He gets the crown but KSK manages to defeat him by screwing Snow White and thus depriving the bunny of a power source, but the God King is a dick and banishes his daughter to the other side of the universe.



It's all over just so quickly, the characters are unlikeable and the voice acting is well, not really good. Overall it just feels like someone trying to be artsy with little effort, and throwing crude stuff against the wall hoping something sticks.

Monday 5 January 2015

Miscelaneous Musings: The Cosmos Rocks review

I've beed a fan of Queen since early childhood. However since I was born in 1990 I sort of already knew about the bands seeming end when I started to watch them. I said seeming as Queen have been doing things since 1995's Made in Heaven. Just, most of them have not exactly shaken the public consciousness by storm like what Queen used to do.

I've only experienced their "The Cosmos Rocks" Album from the post Freddie Mercury days, aside from hearing Let me in Your Heart Again recently. And listening to The Cosmos Rocks as a whole and comparing it with Let me in Your Heart Again is like night and day.

Allow me to summarise my feelings on each song, in brief, listed in the order I listened to them:

* Voodoo: a bit on the mellow side

* Small: also very mellow

* We Believe: better then the previous, a good feel song,  sort of a much much watered down version of "Wind of  Change". The rhytm in it does work you up a bit more then  the previous two songs, but you won't exactly remember  the song too much.

* Some Things That Glitter: melow but more Queen in style  then the previous

* C-lebrity: finally a song that picks up the pace. It doesn't  reach quite classic Queen levels of Rock, but it still is better  at getting your blood going then the previous four songs.

* Through the Night: starts off on a less mellow note as well,  but it goes back into mellow territory....and I'm getting sick  of writing that word over and over !

* Call Me: once again a song that start out on a more  energetic note, but then pulls the drag shoot. It only ever  gets back to being really energetic a few seconds before it  ends.

* Warboys: a song that got a lot of flak. I admit the beginning  of the song feels a bit off, but it is still the most energetic  of all the songs yet.

* Surf's Up...School's Out! The song's a bit of a mess.  Sometimes it sounds more bluesish, sometimes it almost  reminds you of "NeverEnding Story" and then there's a  sudden harsh yelp from the singer. It's probably one of the  best songs thus far either way.

* Say It's Not True: music plus the video clip does seem like  it wants to be "Another Day in Paradise". It's trying to be  sappy and emotional right from the get go. Made in  Heaven had some emotional balladic mood pieces, but  you already have We Believe on the same album and you  can't try to do the "this is wrong" extra sappy note multiple  times and still keep the effect. Their heart is in the right  place but maybe make a song people will actually  remember so it can get the message across.

* Still Burnin: A more rocking sort of song, but the inclusion  of the "We will rock you" esque hand clapping towards the end feels a bit like Queen stealing from themselves.

* Time To Shine: It's less energetic then one would hope but  it does have some good bits, even with the sing-songey  nature of a few spots. One of the best songs on the album lyric-wise.

* Cosmos Rockin': begins promisingly but it sort of  degenerates into a rather samey beat that you swear you  heard a hundred times before, at times.

* Small Reprise: it's a rather brief piece as the name  suggests and once again another not very deep or  memorable mellow mood piece like We Believe.


The album, overall, somewhat stumbles. Queen has made  it's name on being creative and unrestrained and  genuinely going from smooth ballads to head rocking hard  rock tunes. The problem with the album is that it's just too  soft. Of the 14 songs (not including the iTunes exclusive bonus track) only C-lebrity and Warboys seem to ever  reach familiar territory as far as rock is concerned, and Cosmos Rockin' tries but the music there is a bit too  uninspired sounding to really catch your attention. Surf's  Up...School's Out! sometimes hits a rock note, but is sort  of hard to place due to it's overal chaotic nature, even if  the more laid back tone is probably the intended note, if one goes by the title.

That leaves 10 songs which either just meander on the  same old mellow note, or some that occasionally try to  play up the emotions like it's 1990 again and Queen has  suddenly renamed itself after a predatory pouisonous  arachnid and relocated to Hannover. The best you can say  about most of these songs as a whole is that they are inoffensive and you might just let them play if you hear  them on the radio, the sole exceptions to these being Some Things That Glitter and Time to Shine which do feel like they could have been made by Queen back in the day.

This probably sums up the tragedy of  the whole album right there. The very first all original album since the Freddie Mercury dedicated posthumous "Made in Heaven", a full 13 years later, and most of the songs are  just "inoffensively unmemorable".

This sadly looks like the reason why Queen has not been  able to add a single new song to their various regularily  released Greatest Hits albums since Freddie Mercury's death.

They claim they're not looking for someone to replace  Freddie but....maybe they should, as I feel hos raw energy  and charm and creative force is what gave the band it's  sharp, distinctly memorable edge for over two decades.  Take that away and you basically have just inoffensiveness and mediocrity.